If you subscribe to an astrological view of the world and are attracted to a man who happens to be a Cancer, keep the following in mind. Cancer men are complex members of the zodiac family. Shy and withdrawn, a Cancer man will only become attracted to you if you first manage to elbow your way into his life. On the other hand, most Cancer men appreciate women who let them take over the traditional male role of a relationship, so you’ll need to let him eventually hold the reins if you want a relationship to get going.
Part One: Appeal to His Love of Family
Present a traditional feminine aura. Most Cancer men are attracted to women who are highly feminine in a very traditional way. Subconsciously, a Cancer male will be looking for a woman who fits his image of the ideal wife and mother. Everything from your appearance to your mannerisms should ooze femininity.
Slip on a sensual, flirty outfit before you approach him, like a dress that hugs your curves in all the right places. Floral perfumes in classic scents, like rose, can also create the perfect feminine ambiance around you. Don’t try to slip in under the radar as “one of the guys.” Skip the dirty jokes and witty jabs; instead, speak softly and compassionately. Avoid acting too boyish around him.
Show off your homemaking skills. After you get to know him a little, take the initiative and show off your ability to keep house in a very traditional manner. One of the easiest ways to do this is through cooking. Cook up a meal or treat for him, or invite him over to cook a complex recipe with you. Keep in mind, however, that the Cancer man is a little more withdrawn and may resist your affections if he believes that you’re coming on too fast. Inviting him back to your place for a meal the first time you meet him will probably end in rejection. Wait until you have already established some sort of bond with him before you extend an invitation into your home.
Emphasize your love of family. You should talk about the love you have for your current family as well as any dreams you have about marrying and starting a family of your own. Cancer men generally dream of having children someday, so it’ll help your case dramatically if your dreams are in line with his.
When talking about your current family, focus on the maternal side. Talk about things you have learned from your mother or time you have recently spent with your mother. Cancer is a classic mama’s boy, and if you can show a love for your mother that rivals the love he has for his own, you can connect to him more easily.
In addition to all the “mom” talk, converse with him about pleasant family memories and your childhood.
Connect to the people close to him. As long as your Cancer man has a functional family, he will probably be very close to them. The sooner you can get to know his family, the sooner you can attract him as a potential mate. Once again, the Cancer man tends to be a mama’s boy. If you can meet his mother and get on her good side, you can quickly promote yourself in his eyes.
If he did not have a good relationship with his family growing up, chances are, it was not by his choice. A Cancer man who did not receive the love of family from his actual family will probably view his circle of friends as his family, instead. In this case, your best bet is to get on good terms with his friends. Focus on his female friends, though, since getting too cozy with his male buddies might cause him to distrust your affection for him.
Talk about his family in a positive way. Invite him to talk about his own family and connect other topics of conversation back to his family as often as possible. Always do so in a positive light, though, and avoid anything that could sound like an insult toward those he loves.
For instance, if you’ve seen his mother and he shares some resemblance with her, mention it to him.
You could also try complimenting the relationship he has with his siblings or remarking on how much you think a certain family member might enjoy the great new band/restaurant/book/movie you’re talking about.
Part Two: Appeal to His Organized Side
Keep a neat, organized appearance. Cancers are neat, orderly guys. As such, they will generally find women who can be equally organized more appealing than those who are complete slobs. Any space you claim in front of the Cancer male should be clean. Even if you are unable to keep up with his level of tidiness, you need to make a good effort at it.
In other words, don’t invite him into your personal space if your desk is covered in papers or if your apartment is covered in dirty laundry. You do not need to have everything labeled and filed away into neat little packages, but some basic cleanliness and a lack of clutter will go a long way.
Ask him to help you organize your space. If you do have a cluttered area, tell him about it before he finds out on his own by asking him to help you organize it. The appeal of this petition is three-fold: you’ll make him feel needed, you’ll appeal to his natural love of organization, and you’ll demonstrate a willingness to become less messy and more organized yourself.
Avoid spontaneity. The occasional romantic surprise is fine, but as a general rule, avoid making any sudden wild suggestions or demanding something without any warning. Cancer guys like to keep all aspects of their life organized. This includes both physical space and intangible time.
Part Three: Make Him Feel Needed
Ask him for help. Cancers like to assume the traditional male role of provider and protector. Give him the chance to provide for you in some way by asking for his help. The situation does not need to be anything major, but it helps if you choose a task that your Cancer dreamboat usually excels at so that he can complete it thoroughly and impressively.
Ask him for help when you move into a new office or apartment, or if you go shopping for a new car. If nothing quite so dramatic lies ahead of you, however, look for smaller excuses. For example, ask his opinion about a dilemma you have at work, even if you’ve secretly solved the issue yourself.
Satisfy his craving for affection. Even though Cancers like to assume a traditional male role, they are also fairly in touch with their emotions. They crave love on an emotional level, so don’t be afraid to shower them with affection. The more your actions demonstrate your affection, the more likely your Cancer man is to respond in kind.
Compliment him. Offer a kind word about his appearance, his skills, or the way he makes you feel. Compliments make your Cancer feel good about himself, and he can appreciate a woman who gives him the sort of buzz you’ll provide whenever you tell him how wonderful he is.
Make sure that your compliments are genuine and subtle, though. If a Cancer man suspects that you are trying to flatter him, he might become uncomfortable and start to withdraw from you.
Share your feelings. Since Cancer men tend to be on the emotional side, they also have a tendency to feel attracted to women who can be equally expressive in their emotions if not more so. Plus, showing your own willingness to open up can demonstrate how much you want him or need him in your life.
Remember that Cancers tend to be insecure. The quickest way to establish a sense of emotional security with your Cancer crush is to make the first emotional investment.
Try not to contradict him. Everyone is wrong sometimes, and the Cancer man is no exception. That said, since Cancers are so emotionally reactive, they tend to lash out when directly contradicted or corrected in a harsh manner. When you need to correct him, be tactful and persuasive. Rely solely on reason to make your point and try not to get emotional or reactive.
Similarly, when he gets angry or upset, do not lash back in response. Wait for him to calm down on his own rather than trying to force him into a calmer state.
Part Four: Encourage Him to Trust You
Stay within sight. Oftentimes, real attraction is not instantaneous with a Cancer man. You will need to enter within his field of vision on a fairly regular basis before he comes to appreciate your presence there.
Make the first move. Cancers tend to be shy, so gather up your courage and approach him first. The key is to present yourself in a non-aggressive way. Introduce yourself and cement your existence in his mind, but never push or pry your way inside his personal bubble, especially if he seems uncomfortable.
You’ll need to be assertive, but indirectly so. Persistence is important here. Show him that you’re genuinely interested in him by continually making the effort to approach him. A Cancer guy can be a little insecure at times, but once you calm those insecurities and demonstrate that your interest is real and lasting, he can feel comfortable enough to develop his own attraction and affection for you in return.
Never confess your feelings directly. Dealing with a Cancer man can be incredibly complex and may test your patience. As someone who likes to assume the traditional male role in a relationship, he will probably want to confess his feelings first and may find you less attractive if you jump first. On the other hand, you have to make your feelings so obviously clear to him that he has very little reason to doubt your attraction to him.
Listen. Cancer men are usually attracted to women who will share their feelings, but you’ll be even more attractive if you demonstrate a willingness to really listen to everything he says. He needs to open up at his own pace and may do so slowly, but if you want to become an attractive person in his eyes, you’ll need to be a trustworthy presence every step of the way. Occasionally, you should make it a point to demonstrate that you’ve been actively listening to him. Remember his birthday or any other special days he mentions to you. If he tells you about something he has going on at work in a few days, ask him how it went after the event passes.
Avoid arousing his jealousy. You might be tempted to prod his affections along by flirting with other guys, but doing so can damage or kill any budding attraction he already has for you. Cancer men need to feel that they can completely trust their partners. If you give him even the slightest reason to doubt this early on, he may write you off as a potential mate.
Prepare yourself for his possessiveness. Once a Cancer starts feeling attracted to you, he will probably become notably more possessive. If you want to nurture his growing attraction, you’ll need to find ways of coping with his perceived invasion into your personal space. If you push him away, he will probably stay away for good.
Of course, you should always mind your own needs when pursuing a potential relationship, even when doing so can chase away the guy you’ve set your sights on. If his possessiveness becomes dangerous or otherwise unnerving, walk away and don’t look back. Even if his possessiveness seems innocent and harmless, though, you should still take a step back if it makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy.
Prepare yourself for a long relationship. If you’re hoping to attract a Cancer man for a one night stand, you should probably set your sights elsewhere. His aversion to wild, quick-paced actions and his dedication to family make the Cancer guy a poor candidate for a fling. If you want to attract him in the hopes of starting a long-term relationship, though, you’ll probably have much greater success.
Note that the more you bend your behavior to these recommendations, you might be misleading him into thinking you’re someone you’re not, which does not bode well for any relationship.
Sources and Citations
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