There’s no guaranteed way to know if a person truly loves you, but there are more than a few ways to read the signs to figure out what is on the mind of your loved one. If you’d like to know if the person you love indubitably loves you, then you have to pay attention to how the person acts, what they say, and what they do when you’re together. Though love may mean something different to every person, there are many ways to tell if a person truly loves you instead of just having a crush on you, liking you a lot, wanting your money, or just being momentarily infatuated with you. If you want to know if that person truly loves you, just follow these steps.
Notice What The Person Says
See if the person talks about your future together like it’s a given. If the person really loves you, then the idea of you being in his or her future is an absolute given, not something that he or she would ever have anxiety or uncertainty about. If the person routinely talks about what you’re going to do in the future, about what your lives will look like one, two, or even ten years in the future together, then he’s probably in love with you. True commitment means seeing a forever with another person. If the person talks about the future and always includes you in it, then there’s a good chance he truly loves you.
If the person talks about what your kids will look like, where you’ll retire together, or where you’ll go for your honeymoon, then he may really love you.
See if the person gives you meaningful compliments. There’s a difference between saying, “I like your new haircut” and “You have the ability to make me feel better no matter what.” If the person gives you complements that show that he really appreciates the important aspects of your character and personality, then there’s a good chance he really loves you. Your loved one doesn’t have to shower you with compliments all the time — it’s the quality, not the quantity, that makes a difference.
See if the person says “I love you” and means it. Remember that there’s a big difference between “Love ya!” and “I love you.” If your special someone really loves you and tells you this much while looking into your eyes, sounding earnest, and not wanting anything from you, then it’s likely that he really means it.
If the person undeniably loves you, then he’ll say it for no reason at all, not just because he needs a favor or because it feels like the right thing to say.
See if the person really opens up to you. If your loved one really loves you, then they’ll really open up to you and tell you what they are thinking, feeling, fearing, and longing for. If the person really opens up about their childhood, greatest regrets, most painful moments, or most romantic dreams for the future, then it’s likely that they like you because the person is so comfortable telling you anything.
If the person tells you, “I’ve never told anyone this before…” then there’s a good chance that he really loves and trusts you.
See if your loved one tells you how much she misses you when you’re apart. If you and your loved one are apart, but she still texts you, calls you, or emails you to let you know how much she misses you, then it means she can’t imagine her life without you. If you go on a three-week vacation and don’t hear a word from her, then it may not be love.
She doesn’t have to call you constantly to let you know if she misses you.
See if the person is comfortable with pointing out your mistakes. If that person truly loves you, then he doesn’t have an idealized picture of you in his mind. If it’s truly love, then that person will be comfortable with telling you when you’ve made a mistake, said something illogical, or acted badly. Though the person shouldn’t criticize you all the time, giving you a healthy amount of criticism just means that the person really knows you in and out and accepts your mistakes as well as your best qualities. If the person never argues with you or never criticizes you, then you should be on the look out. Make sure that the person truly loves you instead of an ideal version of who you are.
See if the person truly values your opinion. If the person truly loves you, then he’ll care about what you think — whether it’s about his new pair of shoes or the political situation in your country. If he really loves you, he’ll ask for your advice and opinions, whether it’s on matters big or small. He may feel self-conscious about asking for your opinion, but he’ll do it because he loves you.
He doesn’t have to ask for your opinion on everything — only the things that really matter.
Notice What the Person Does
See if the person will listen to anything you say. If the person really loves you, then she’ll not only open up to you, but she’ll also listen to anything you have to say — even if she’s heard it all before. Though she won’t be your lapdog, she will be around to hear your thoughts, and she’ll not and respond thoughtfully and not interrupt instead of switching the subject to something she wants to talk about.
Part of being in love is just being able to listen. It’s not all about being able to talk.
See if the person is always there for you — even if it’s inconvenient. Sure, if you want to grab a drink or a tasty meal, the person is always around, but what about when you need a ride from the airport or you need someone to walk your dog while you’re sick? If the person truly loves you, then he’ll be there for you during the fun times as well as the not-so-fun times. If the person is only around when you’re happy, lighthearted, or in a good mood, but flees the scene as soon as you’re sad or cranky, then that’s not love.
Love is about being there for a person — no matter what. Truly loving a person means accepting all of the positive and negative qualities of that person, and being around during the good times and the bad.
See if the person does nice things for you. If the person truly loves you, then he’ll do thoughtful things like put gas in your car when you’re busy, do your food shopping for you, or bring you chicken soup when you’re home sick. These favors don’t have to be constant or over-the-top, but if the person truly loves you, then he’ll want to do things to make you smile and to make your life easier.
True love isn’t just about what you can take from the person, but what you can give too.
If the person really loves you, then he’ll do nice things for you without you having to ask. It should be implied that you need a favor or help sometimes. If you have to ask for something nice every time, then that may not be love.
See if the person always wants to be around you. Part of being in love is always wanting to be around the person you love, even if it’s impractical. If the person truly loves you, then he or she will want to be around you — a lot. This doesn’t mean the person will want to be attached at the hip, but it does mean that the person will try to take as many opportunities as possible to see you.
This doesn’t mean that the person will want to be with you 24/7. But if the person can only make time to see you once or twice a month, it’s likely that it isn’t love.
See if the person knows when to give you space. If the person truly loves you, then he’ll not only want to be around you a lot, but he’ll also know when to give you space and do your own thing. If the person wants to be around you all the time, then that’s not love — it’s infatuation. As love matures, two people will realize that they still need to do things separate to maintain their own identities.
If the person wants to be around you every waking moment, then that may be more of a sign of that person’s insecurities than true love.
See if the person truly understands you. True love is true understanding. Though it sounds lame, the person should really “get” you in order to love you. If the person actually understands your moods, knows what you want and what you don’t want, and has an idea of what will make you happy before you may know it yourself, then that may be true love.
It’s okay if part of you remains mysterious to the person — you don’t have to be understood 100%, but you do have to have the sense that the other person truly understands where you’re coming from most of the time.
See if the person wants the best for you — even if it isn’t the best for him. If a person truly loves you, then he’ll understand that there are some things that you have to do that may not be the best for him, or may mean that you’ll be spending some time apart. If he truly loves you, then he’ll understand that you have to spend a summer on a remote island to pursue your career in marine biology, or that you have to go home early to get enough sleep for a test instead of spending the night with him.
If the person only wants what’s best for both of you at all times, then he’s not really seeing you as a unique individual with your own needs and desires.
See if he truly supports you. If he really loves you, then he’ll not only be there for the fun times, but he’ll be there to help you achieve your goals and move forward in your life. If he truly loves you, then he’ll be there in the bleachers during your soccer game, he’ll be there to see you defend your thesis, and he’ll be there to give you a ride to your job interview. And he’ll be there whenever you want to talk about something that means a lot to you.
If he really loves you, then he’ll support you as you achieve your goals or pursue your interests, even if they have nothing to do with him.
Notice How the Person Acts
See if the person can truly be himself around you. Part of being love means being completely open to the other person. If you find yourself seeing a whole different side that the person doesn’t show the public, then that may be love. If the man you’re with is pretty serious or polite in public, but when you’re alone, he shows his goofy and silly side completely, then he’s really opening up to you and loves you.
If the person shares his deepest emotions with you and is comfortable with it, then that’s love.
If the person is comfortable not looking perfect, tripping, or having food stuck in his teeth around you, that means he’s okay if you see every side of him.
See if the person is happy to be around you — even during a bad day. If your loved one has had a very bad day but lights up when he sees you, then that’s a sign of love. If he’s in love with you, then the sight of you or the sound of your voice is guaranteed to make him feel better — if only a little bit. The next time he’s grumpy or has a bad day, see how he reacts in your presence.
See if the person gives you googly eyes. Though this may be silly, check out your loved one’s face the next time you see him. Does he look at you in a goofy, watery, silly and adorable way that can only be described as “googly-eyed”? You’ll know it when you see it. You won’t get this look all the time — you can spot it in the morning, or randomly across the dinner table.
You may also be able to catch the person staring at you with the same expression.
See if the person is giddy around you. Love makes people feel giddy, weightless, and like laughing for no reason at all. If you see the person acting this way in your presence, then this may be love. Does your loved one seem hyper, excited, and on the verge of laughing for almost no reason at all whenever he’s around you? If so, then this may be love.
If you’ve said something barely funny and the person cracks up, then he may be lovesick.
If the person shows nervous energy or fidgets around a lot around you, then he may just be excited by your presence.
See if the person is upset when you’re upset. If you’re suffering unbelievable emotional pain or are just bummed because you have the flu, then this should rub off on the person who loves you. If he truly loves you, then he’ll absorb some of your negative emotions and will be very upset because he’ll want you to feel better as soon as you can.
Though he doesn’t have to be as upset as you are, the person should clearly be affected by your mood because all he wants is for you to be happy.
Don’t take someone’s feelings for granted.
Once you are attracted to someone, you will notice that he or she looks at you differently and smiles a lot when you’re around.
Be considerate of their feelings; when someone likes you, your actions mean a lot more to them. Be gentle.
When some people do not talk with you it does not mean they don’t love you; it could be that they’re shy.
Be careful not to mistake friendliness for flirting, you could end up getting hurt.
If you get suspicions that they like you, then you definitely do NOT want to ask them, “Do you like me?” This could make the person more shy and probably never want to try to ask you out.
Never give much more space than needed. You may lose the person.
That person still may not like you. It probably isn’t because you did something wrong, it might be because they didn’t want to commit to a life-changing decision.
How to Know if You Are Truly in Love
How to Know if You Love Someone
How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust